So I Guess You Know What I Told Him by Stephen Dobyns

A gas man is heading into the cellar of Floyd Beefus when he slips and falls. You would think that Floyd would be willing to help the gas man who lies at the bottom of the stairs with a broken leg. But Floyd believes is something more than casuality: that everything happens for a reason. Floyd explains why his wife is upstairs dying because of past transgressions of his. Floyd tries to convince the gas man that his fall down the stairs was for a reason. In the end the gas man is cursing Floyd...

A definately funny and insightful story.

Who Made Yellow Roses Yellow? by John Updike

Fred Platt, a long lost friend calls Clayton Clayton out of the blue using a fictitious story. After being transferred through several secretaries, Fred is finally able to talk to Clayton. After listening to the prank pitch, Clayton asks if the caller is Fred. Fred playfully queries Clayton "Who are all these girls you live in the midst of?" Clayton inquires if Fred is still studying at the Sorbonnet which Fred replies in French. After Clayton insists that his schedule was completely booked, Clayton grudgingly invites Fred to lunch. Fred is unemployed trying to bait a position at Clayton's office. The two haven't talked in three years. Fred went to the war while Clayton stayed home. Their awkward departure as Clayton says, "Well, back to the salt mines." Fred responds, "Ye are the salt of the earth."

A $100 value for only $24.95!

This past week I did some research on printing a pedigree chart on a poster size paper so that I could more easily see where I could focus my energies. I have found it frustrating to only view four to six generations on my computer screen. So, I found some sites where you can send them your gedcom file and they would print the file on a large roll of paper. Some offered to print it on a sheet 40' long at 3' wide. For some reason, the idea of scrolls with wooden rollers didn't appeal to me to view my ancestry. I found a very helpful place called the Family History Center in the BYU Harold B Lee library. My one concern was to find a printer who could do this within my budget. Most of the printers I came across charged anywhere from a few to many dollars per linear foot. No matter how many names you have on your tree you too can have your pedigree chart printed for $24.95 (shipping included). What happens is this: You go online to the website www.onepagegenealogy.com which will redirect you to the family history/computer science department at BYU that will print it for you to a maximum size of 3.5' by 6' and hold up to 50 generations. You first need to download the software from their site. I would highly recommend using the older software (NOT the 3.0 Beta version - I had some issues with it...) to your computer. Once you have the software (free software) you upload a gedcom file to it. You work through the wizard to optimize the print of your pedigree. The software will save the project as a .pdf file that will allow you to clearly see how the chart will appear on one sheet of paper. You then go back to their website and start the wizard to upload your .pdf file and pay for the printing. Within a few days the document can be picked up at the Family History Center in the Harold B Lee library on the BYU campus or it will be mailed to you in a convenient and sturdy tube. I have been thoroughly impressed with the quality of the paper as well as the clarity of the paper so that I can see thousands of ancestors on one sheet and at a glance determine where to work.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and So Forth

Mark Prosser is a high school teacher. The first line of his thoughts wonders if Gloria Andrews would wear that sweater . . . with very short sleeves. Prosser and his class are studying Macbeth which Mr. Prosser wants to help them understand. Being typical high school students, the boys try to impress the girls, especially Gloria. Mr. Prosser also understands what they are thinking and feeling. During recitations Mr. Prosser sees Gloria pass Peter, her classmate, a note. He immediately seizes upon the note. He opens and reads "Pete -- I think you're wrong about Mr. Prosser. I think he's wonderful and I get a lot out of his class. He's heavenly with poetry. I think I love him. I really do love him. So there."
After class Gloria is instructed to remain behind. Mr Prosser begins: "It is not only rude to scribble when a teacher is talking, it is stupid to put one's words down on paper, where they look much more foolish than they might have sounded if spoken."
"What was it, Mark asked himself, these young people were after? What did they want?" After Gloria leaves the phys-ed teacher, Strunk, comes in to share the daily gossip. He tells Prosser how Gloria had written the same love note to Murchison that same day and that the same thing had happened to Fryeburg the day before. Mr. Prosser is incredulous but maintains a disinterest in the story. He really believed that he was the one she loved. The last line of the story sums up the story: "The girl had been almost crying; he was sure of that."

Ace in the Hole by John Updike

Ace is probably in his early twenties and living with Evey, his girlfriend. Ace has just been fired from his job and doesn’t want to tell Evey. He drives to his parent’s house which is just down the block from his house. His baby, Bonnie, is a young cute baby that his parents were taking care of while he was at work. He makes his way home while mentally preparing for the confrontation he knows he will have with Evey. Evey wants an explanation of why he got fired. He was parking a ’51 Chevy his boss had just bought and in the process scrapes the car up. He tries to defend his actions as his boss told him to put the car in the hole between two other cars. Evey notes, “you could have looked and moved the other cars to make more room.” Evey explodes at Ace’s nonchalant attitude toward getting fired again. She is fed up with him and ready to move on. Ace moves into a soliloquy proclaiming that they need to have a boy. They end up dancing mainly to allow Ace to deflect the situation.

The Kid's Whistling

Roy works in a department store where he has worked alone most nights. During the summertime the store hires on high school kids. This year it was Jack. One problem that Roy had with Jack is that Jack whistled all the time which annoyed Roy. Maureen, Roy’s significant other shows up out of the blue. It is late and she has gotten wet from walking the six blocks in the rain. Her presence unsettles Roy more than Jack’s whistling. Maureen knows Roy is working late during the Christmas season but feels the need to check up on Roy. Roy is painting a sign with the word ‘Toyland’ on it. Roy painstakingly brushes the letters adding glitter while they are wet. He brush strokes the final letter and realizes that it is wrong. He notes: “It was nothing Simmons [his boss] or anybody would notice—who looked at signs, anyway? –but Roy knew it had been ruined, and now knew why. The kid had stopped whistling.”

A Sense of Shelter by John Updike

Kari got me a collection of short stories for Christmas which I am just now beginning to read. They are all from John Updike. William Young, also known as Mip, is one of the loners at school. He isn't really friends with anyone but he doesn't seem to mind this either. He claims that "exclusion is itself a form of inclusion." William is madly in love with a girl names Mary Landis. And unlike most students in the high school, William actually feels comfortable at school, as his own home away from home. Unfortunately Mary is tired of school and can't wait to get out. William confesses his love while Mary attempts to deflect any of his feelings as if he were telling jokes. The ending leaves both unsure of their futures

An Addition to My Blog

Contrary to many other opinions, I enjoy a little background music while I work on the computer. I thought it would be fun to add some of my favorite songs to my blog that others can listen to while perusing. I do admit that navigating to a blog only to be lambasted by music is the last thing you expect, but a nice soft music adds to the whole atmosphere.
Enjoy!

Your comments are welcomed good or bad!

Ebb and Flow

I figure that since it has almost been a month since my last post that i would start back up again. I'm not sure just how much posing I will be able to do over the next few months due to my school classes. I am taking Organizational Behavior and Calculus. They both should test me to my limits, but I enjoy the challenge. I really don't know how much leisure reading/time I will have. So far it isn't too bad, but then again this will be the first full week of class. Oh, and I forgot to mention that my Calculus class is at 7:00 AM.

I thought I would also mention a great website for demotivational posters. This will definately tickle your funny bone.
http://despair.com/lithographs.html

Christmas Hiatus

Due to the Christmas holiday I have imposed a hiatus on my short story analysis. This is also due to the fact that I don't feel like studying if I don't have to. As I am done with the Fall semester until January 2nd, I feel that I deserve a break. However, I do feel compelled to disclose some recent personal experiences.
I, like many others, feel that as I finish a class and don't need to keep the textbook, that it is customary to return the book for a refund. I went to return my Business Law book to the school bookstore. The gentleman at the register thumbed through the book a few times noting the highlighting and notation. He took the book to his supervisor who also performed this procedure also. The cashier returned and refused to accept the textbook noting that there was too much highlighting and notation. I explained that I purchased the book in this condition and had not added anything to it. I also noted that the handwriting was almost as well done as the typing of the text itself. He stated that it was their policy not to receive books in this condition. So, I drove down the street to sell the book back to Beat the Bookstore. They gladly received the book and offered a very nice amount in return. With this store credit I have been able to buy my Calculus workbook for the Spring semester. I highly doubt that I will ever have to return to the school bookstore again.
On another note, I am taking Organizational Behavior as a class requisite to continuing on to an MBA degree. One of the required texts is "7 habits of highly effective people" by Steven Covey. I procured the ISBN and saw that on half.com that the text would cost me a mere 75 cents but that the shipping would be at least $4. So I took Parker to our nearby Savers (similar to DI but more orderly and better condition of items). Lo and behold, I came upon the very book that I needed. The printed cost of the book from the publisher was $10. The Savers sticker noted that the cost would be $.99. Sweet. I love Savers. Oh, and both books are in nearly new condition with no highlighting or handwriting.
Next, I have been busily working on my family history through Ancestry.com. I came across a wonderfully documented and researched tree that I began to add individuals to my tree from. This tree has more stories, photos and documents attached to it than any other tree I have encountered in Ancestry.com. I stepped away for a couple of days and when I returned I could not remember where this person's tree tied in with mine! I was almost to the point of hysteria, ok not hysteria, but to the point of beginning to delete individuals from my tree. I figured that because I didn't know why or where they tied in that it would be pointless to have them in my tree. So, I took a detour and returned to my PAF file on my computer. Because I had not yet downloaded the new additions to my tree in my PAF program that I would be able to see who I tied in with. I soon discovered that my great great grandmother's brother married a woman from this other tree. Now I know how we tie in. Whew! I visited the owner of the tree's personal description page: Her Family History specialty is photos and stories. Sweet.
Lastly, I have finally gotten my left hearing aid back from getting re-cased. Basically anything you put in your ear is seen as an intruder by your body. Over time the hearing aid casing wears thin. Combined with the accidental dropping of the hearing aid on the bathroom floor caused a large crack around the circumference of the casing. The audiologist mentioned on December 6th that the turnaround would be about a week. If you want to know what it feels like to not have one hearing aid for almost two weeks, next time you go swimming place one of your ears in the water while keeping the other out of the water.
Have a very Merry Christmas!